Orange County Register: Silly Legislative Ideas During Budget Crisis

Bills on beer, olive oil, bedsheets, get lawmakers’ attention

April 19th, 2011, 3:00 am ·  The Orange County Register

by Teri Sforza, Register staff writer

So we know California is suffering profound political paralysis in the face of a $15 billion black hole in its budget.

Pesto, anyone?

Senate Bill 818 by Sen. Lois Wolk, D-Davis, “would revise the definitions of olive oil and grades of olive oil and olive-pomace oil…. It would require lampante virgin olive oil and crude olive-pomace oil to be refined before consumption.”

Senate Bill 39 by Sen. Alex Padilla, D-Pacoima, would ban caffeinated beer.

Senate Bill 432 by Sen. Kevin de León, D-Los Angeles, would toughen workplace safety standards for hotel housekeeping, including threats from linens: “The use of a fitted sheet, instead of a flat sheet, as the bottom sheet on all beds within the lodging establishment,” the bill says. “For the purpose of this section, a ‘fitted sheet’ means a bed sheet containing elastic or similar material sewn into each of the four corners that allows the sheet to stay in place over the mattress.”

To which the folks at the Orange County Business Council say, “What?! SQUIRREL!”

About a year ago, the Business Council launched CaliforniaSquirrel.com, a web site that targets alleged distractions that elected officials pursue at the expense of more important public business.
(The name is a reference to the dog Dug in the Disney“Up” movie — who is outfitted with a collar that translates his dog thoughts into human language. Dug may be on the most important mission of his life, but when he sees a squirrel, his attention is completely diverted and—’SQUIRREL!’—he says, running off to chase it. This reminds the Business Council folk of some of our state leaders.)

We like to check in with CaliforniaSquirrel every now and then, and while we don’t necessarily agree that all the bills it targets are frivolous, we sure do appreciate their sense of humor. Here are a few more:

• AB 1279 (Fletcher): “This bill euphemizes language, specifying that a dog pound be known in government terms as ‘an animal shelter.’ ‘Surrendered’ — not unwanted — animals would be ‘humanely euthanized’ rather than ‘killed’  or ‘destroyed.’ Well, in government terms, this piece of legislation is known as ‘squirrel.’”
• AB 34 (Williams): “The state has a law establishing a compost market program to increase the use of compost products. Although the term “compost” is defined, apparently it doesn’t do the dirt justice. To be very clear about what is trash and what isn’t, this bill would further specify that these organic wastes include, but are not limited to, vegetable, yard, and wood wastes that are not hazardous waste.”
• SCR 14 (Steinberg): “This bill asks for there to be a ‘Parks Make Life Better’ month in the state of California. SQUIRREL!”

One of the Business Council’s squirrels that some might take particular issue with is AB 582 (Pan), which would require cities to give public notice twice before awarding raises to city managers, consultants, and other top employees. After the Bell fiasco, broadcasting such moves twice to the public might give us slugs in the media a chance to wake up and ask a few questions before the deal is done.